The President's Wealth
The Trump Emporium(TM)
Trump Emporium(TM)
The Greatest Store in the History of Stores -- ElitePresident.com
A factual archive of every product the People's Billionaire(TM) has lent his name to -- delivered, undelivered, and discontinued. Prices are real. Descriptions are paraphrased from verified sources. Buying anything here does one thing only.
⌕
◆ Footwear
✝ Spiritual
★ Fragrance
⦾ Accessories
❖ Digital Collectibles
● Collectibles
❐ Books
⚠ Not Yet Delivered
† Hall of Failures
◆ Footwear
For the patriot who walks in style.
OK Delivered
Never Surrender High-Top (Gold)
"The most iconic sneakers in American history." — The sneaker website, humbly.
$399.00
OK Delivered
Never Surrender Low-Top (Red & White)
For the patriot who surrenders to neither enemies nor podiatric comfort.
$199.00
OK Delivered
"TRUMP WON 45-47" Golden Low-Top
Wear the claim. On your feet. Literally.
$499.00
✝ Spiritual
Faith, licensed and delivered.
OK Delivered
God Bless the USA Bible
"The only Bible endorsed by President Trump." The Almighty's endorsement remains pending.
$59.99
★ Fragrance
Smell like victory. Or Wyoming.
OK Delivered
Victory 47(TM) Cologne
"Blends rich, masculine notes with a refined, lasting finish." The finish is not refundable.
$249.00
OK Delivered
Victory 47(TM) Perfume
For the woman who supports victory. Or simply proximity to gold packaging.
$249.00
⦾ Accessories
Watches. Possibly Swiss.
OK Delivered (probably)
Trump Signature Watch Collection
"Swiss-made." The Swiss have been contacted. They are looking into it.
$499.00
❖ Digital Collectibles
JPEGs of historical significance.
* Digital
NFT Trading Cards — Series 1 (Superhero Edition)
Own a JPEG of Trump as a superhero. Frame it. Tell your grandchildren.
$99.00
* Digital
NFT Trading Cards — Series 4 "America First Collection"
$99 for a Trump NFT. During a presidential election. No further questions.
$99.00
* Digital
Mugshot NFT — Fulton County Jail Booking Photo Edition
Buy a digital version of a presidential mugshot. The founding fathers are speechless.
$99.00
● Collectibles
Silver at a meaningful premium.
OK Delivered
Official Trump Silver Coin
"The ONLY OFFICIAL coin designed by me." Contains approximately $30 of silver. Sells for $100.
$100.00
❐ Books
Royalties not included in cover price.
OK Delivered
"Save America" — Photo Book
$99 for a photo book. Signed copies available. The signing is not refundable.
$99.00
⚠ Not Yet Delivered
Still waiting. Deposits taken. Terms updated.
(!) Not Delivered -- Deposit Taken
Trump Mobile T1 Phone
"A patriotic alternative to Apple and Samsung." Currently a patriotic alternative to receiving what you paid for.
$100.00
† Hall of Failures
Great products. Briefly. R.I.P.
+ Discontinued 2007
Trump Steaks
"The world's greatest steaks." Sold exclusively at The Sharper Image. Then nowhere.
Priceless (in that it no longer exists)
+ Discontinued ~2011
Trump Vodka ("The World's Finest Super Premium Vodka")
T stands for Trump. And for the tasting notes, apparently.
Priceless (in that it no longer exists)
+ Shut Down 2011 / Settled 2016
Trump University
Learn the secrets of real estate from the master. Accreditation: none. Refunds: eventually.
$35,000.00
+ Bankrupt 1992
Trump Shuttle (Airline)
Luxury air travel between New York, Boston, and Washington. For two years.
Priceless (in that it no longer exists)
+ Closed 2007
Trump Mortgage
Launched in 2006. Closed in 2007. Timed beautifully with the US housing crash.
Priceless (in that it no longer exists)
+ Discontinued -- Twice
Trump: The Game
"It's not whether you win or lose, it's whether you win!" A 12-page rulebook suggested otherwise.
$25.00
+ Ceased Publication 2009
Trump Magazine (n?e Trump Style, n?e Trump World)
Three name changes. One closure. Unpaid bills throughout.
Priceless (in that it no longer exists)
+ Discontinued ~2010
Trump Ice — "The Purest Water on Earth"
Spring water. Premium price. Lasted about as long as an ice cube in Florida.
Priceless (in that it no longer exists)
+ Rebranded & Abandoned ~2012
The Trump Network (Nutritional Supplements MLM)
Personalised vitamins. Based on your urine. Sold by a multi-level marketing company. Endorsed by Trump.
Priceless (in that it no longer exists)
+ Discontinued -- Macy's partnership ended 2015
Trump Home — Luxury Furniture & Homewares
Live the Trump lifestyle. Until Macy's drops you, anyway.
Priceless (in that it no longer exists)
+ Renamed Tour DuPont 1991 -- Discontinued 1996
Tour de Trump — Cycling Race
A genuine contribution to American cycling. Then DuPont bought the naming rights and Trump was gone.
Priceless (in that it no longer exists)
+ All Closed -- Last Closed 2016
Trump Atlantic City Casinos (Taj Mahal, Plaza, Castle, Marina)
Six bankruptcies between them. The house always wins. Except these houses.
Priceless (in that it no longer exists)
All prices reflect documented retail prices from verified sources. No purchases are processed here. This is a factual archive. Net worth counter is seeded from Forbes estimates and increments satirically on button clicks. All product descriptions are original paraphrases of public reporting.
Trump just got richer